Why do i still do this despite everything that happened?

please no rude answers because this is serious and personal. so when i was younger my dad would get really drunk and he still does. he gets angry and would hit my mom. this happened several times before the cops got involved and then he stopped last year. he still gets drunk and yells a lot. and one time he kicked me out of the car in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere too. so what i started to do was i started drinking too and im a teen and i started doing bad things and despite everything i thought i would back off of that stuff because its traumatized me so much. so i don't know why i want to do all these bad stuff even though i know how bad it can make people.